How to provide workplace support following a pregnancy loss

Whatever the circumstances, a loss is a loss, and all people deserve space and time to grieve. Through policy and practice, employers have an opportunity to better enable healing.

October 28, 2021

Supporting employees’ varied paths to parenthood includes acknowledging that those paths can be marked by experiences of loss and grief in a number of ways. Albeit relatively common—approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss—it is often shielded from others’ views and can be deeply private to those going through it. But whatever the circumstances, a loss is a loss, and all people deserve the space to move through it and to grieve and heal as needed.

As employers strive to build workplaces in which everyone can feel supported and thrive, we’re increasing awareness of working families’ full range of challenges and experiences, including those of loss and grief. One of the difficulties of loss is that there is no timeline or template. It hits differently from person to person and day to day. But through policy and practice, employers have an opportunity to better accommodate and enable healing.

Inclusive leave policies and easily accessible support

For many, pregnancy loss is a big event, deserving of the same time and space to grieve as any other loss. Time off and leave policies should accommodate those experiencing a pregnancy loss accordingly. Supporting a grieving employee also means easing their mental load, which includes making said leave policies and surrounding benefits easily accessible. The last thing anyone experiencing a loss needs is extraneous bureaucracy or hurdles. Holistic benefits platforms like Cleo help employers keep up with employees’ evolving needs and meet them with the care and compassion they deserve.

Supporting individuals in the wake of their loss

For those engaging directly with someone who has recently experienced a pregnancy or other loss, it can be difficult knowing how to respond. For managers specifically, the following are important guidelines to keep in mind.

• Be present and ask what feels best to the grieving person
• Offer space and time to grieve, or to stay if work is a welcomed distraction
• Ask whether they want you to share with the team what has happened? If so, organize a food or flower delivery, or other gestures that let them know you’re thinking of them.

The following are simple, important ways for anyone to support a coworker, friend, or family member experiencing a loss.

• Say you’re sorry for the loss, and that you’re there for them
• Validate that the loss and the grief they feel are real
• Send flowers, food, gestures that let them know you’re thinking of them, or offer practical support for chores, deliveries, etc.
• Ask them how they’re doing
• Do not qualify it with statements such as, “at least you’re young!”, “you can still get pregnant”, or “it’s so common!”, or “everything happens for a reason!”
• Don’t compare it to the loss of a pet
• Don’t ask how far along they were
• Be sensitive about pregnancy
• Remember significant dates if shared
• If the child had a name that was shared, use it
• Take time to listen if they want to share
• Help them find the support they need
• Check-in with both partners, if applicable
• Don’t try to rush the grief process, or change it

To learn more about pregnancy loss and the types of support available from Cleo, read our Guide Spotlight with Midwife and Registered Nurse Karen Lencke.